Thursday, April 13, 2006

The Prophetic Wisdom of Agent 86, Maxwell Smart

On Nuclear Proliferation:

99: Oh, Max what a terrible weapon of destruction!
MAX: Yes. You know, China, Russia, and France should outlaw all nuclear weapons. We should insist upon it.
99: What if they don't, Max?
MAX: Then we may have to blast them. That's the only way to keep peace in the world.

On The Value of Good Intelligence and Enforcing Public Accountability:

MAX: But I'm telling you, Chief, this is no ordinary kidnap attempt! I happen to have recognized one of those hoods as a KAOS man.
CHIEF: What's the man's name?
MAX: I can't remember.
CHIEF: What was the girl's name?
MAX: I didn't get it.
CHIEF: What about the license number of the girl's car?
MAX: I didn't see.
CHIEF: How about the license of the other car?
MAX: I didn't notice.
CHIEF: Max, what would you do if you were me and an agent gave you answers like "I can't remember," "I didn't notice," and "I didn't see it"?!
MAX: I don't know.

On Keeping a Clear Moral Perspective:

99: Oh, Max, how terrible!
MAX: He deserved it, 99. He was a KAOS killer.
99: Sometimes I wonder if we're any better, Max.
MAX: What are you talking about, 99? We have to shoot and kill and destroy. We represent everything that's wholesome and good in the world!


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