Sunday, September 06, 2009

Notes From My First Colonoscopy

I offer these observations in the same spirit as my pneumonia post: readers, Googlers and other web-surfers should be getting the bulk of their info from more authoritative sources. But if I could send a note to my former inexperienced self, this is what it would say:

(1) The 24 hour period leading up to the procedure is going to be more grueling than the procedure itself.

(2) The day before, drink lots of water right up to midnight. I mean it. I know you think you're drinking lots of water, but you're not.

(3) As soon as you've finished reading this, get on the phone and change your appointment to first thing in the morning. If you go ahead and try to put in a full day at the job before you're driven to the clinic, you will live to think of it as one of the dumbest stunts you've pulled in mid-life.

That's about it, really. Oh, and stop fretting: the doctor is going to give you an "all clear -- book another appointment 8-10 years from now."

9 comments:

yahmdallah said...

What, no pics? Katie was able to fill out an hour of TV, dude.

Whisky Prajer said...

The things I miss, just because we don't have cable. "One hour"? Her colon must be a lot larger than mine.

Su said...

You got it right. All of it. Yeah.

Anonymous said...

Besides the fact that my wonderful American insurance will make me pay the first $2,000 for this procedure, my own cowardice has kept me from completing my doctor's orders.

I can think of so many more wonderful things to do with two grand other than having my insides probed as if I were an alien science fair project.

Yeah, I know what's at stake, and I am a living survivor of another type of the Big C, but sheesh...

Who would ever want to call their musical group, "Butthole Surfers" ?...while we're on the subject...

CP

Whisky Prajer said...

Su - when all was said and done I was so relieved I mentioned the procedure to nearly everyone I met. I was surprised by how many "Me, toos" I heard.

CP - Dishing out two grand would have given me considerable pause, too. Although, in my case, this is the Big C to look out for. And Butthole Surfers -- ha! Brings back memories. Musical memories, of course. Can't say theirs has been an ouevre I've been particularly drawn to.

DarkoV said...

WP,
Welcome to the other side! You're on the other side of aging now. Geezerdom.
Your 3 points are all dead on, with #1 being particularly true if you were knocked out. Don't know about Canada, but the Insurance Companies down here have been pushing for ONLY local anesthetic so that colonoscopy "participants" can watch each other being handled like sides of beef. I saw part of someone's procedure before I faded away and, well, it was an embarassing and demeaning experience all around.
I'm assuming that the procedure is done the same way North of the border. Namely, you are wheeled into a large room on a guerney, where you are parked along with 3-4 other semi-conscious semi-clothed folks where sumo-wrestlers, disguised in doctor-robe, flip you over like eggs, sunnyside up.....and down.

DarkoV said...

Oh,
on the topic of "On The Platter", how you likin' the latest Christian McBride? And, while I have your ear (eye?), the Joe Henry and Todd Snider (the latter has been on your menu a while, so I'm concluding you are enjoying his take on life quite a bit...I LOVE that cover photo, I've tried scanning my CD copy to enlarge it. The dog is unreal)

Whisky Prajer said...

I'm just trying to figure out a way to tie up all these aural threads. But I very much like all three discs.

As for the dog, here is one monster (1471 X 1471) scan. Just to be safe, you might want your browser set for no-scripts.

DarkoV said...

WP,
your fans shall ask ......and you shall reward.
Thanks for the pic. I will be printing, framing, and hanging. This picture can possibly be proof that "dog" spelled backward is truly....
Well, at least some Greek Mythological God.