Willie Nelson, joking

Q: what's the difference between a pizza and a guitarist? 

It's funny because it's true!

A: the pizza can feed a family of four. I am looking forward to pizza at Papa Enrico's. 

Digital!

In the various Metal concerts I attended the bands were often beholden to something digital. As my musician buddy pointed out, "Digital is its own artform."

Certainly not all the bands did this, and I can remember one time when the entire band seemed out-of-sync with their Digital Overlord. The drummer delivered this massive, "THWOP!" and everybody got back in-sync again. 

Besides Metal, Accoustic and Jazz love digital. But you can hardly blame Devin Townsend for ditching the digital clip.

Drop-D tuning

Producer Bob Rock asked a famous Metal band, "Why do you guys tune everything to E?"

The band looked at him as if he were from Outer Space. "E is the lowest note on the guitar!"

Rock said, "Well, let me introduce you to Drop-D tuning."

And that, as they say, is that.

Suicide!

"I don't call that, 'being selfish,'" said my Philosophy friend about the financial crisis of 2008 , "I call that, 'being psychotic.'"

"You say that like it's a bad thing!"

When I was healthy I suspect I was frequently psychotic. In hindsight I wish I'd taken better care of others. 

In the hospital there was at least one patient who attempted suicide. The nurses didn't know what to do with this guy. On the one hand his life was going to be a difficult slog. On the other hand, he tried to kill himself, man!

I don't know if I'd commit suicide if I were in his moccasins. I do know I'd be sunk without the help of others, many of them complete strangers to me. 

Here is the late Larry Norman singing "Song To A Small Circle Of Friends." Here is what I currently think of Larry Norman and Greg Thornbury's book. And this is The Rolling Stones performing "Tumbling Dice" in 1972, when I was just a kid listening to George Beverly Shea on my parents' green hifi. 

CREED III -- the reviews are in

And it's a smash. 

Actually, I saw the first Creed movie which I thought was good but never really recovered from the first fight -- an extended take from Adonis Creed's POV, the unintentional high-point of the movie. 

I was not aware of the second Creed movie, but the third makes a kind of sense. Say what you will about Rocky III but at least that movie introduced the world to the wonders of Mr. T. 

"I pity da fool..."

"It's A Long Way To The Top (If You Wanna Rock 'n' Roll)"

"It's harder than it looks" -- I will probably never get tired of this song (although I shouldn't speak too quickly -- I sure got tired of H2H. That's another song that should be "retired." If you didn't have a hand in writing it than I don't wanna hear it.):  

High Windows

Reminder. 

The news-shows and papers and magazines (what remains of 'em!) have all become platforms for what passes for the Left. The far-Right has no difficulty making up for this perceived paucity. Oh, they're just warming up, baby!

I've said it before: when you believe you have sealed off the exits the congregation starts breaking the high windows. 

ALIAS, Season 1

I would have watched this the same vintage as I watched Lost. But while I can write a test on the latter I simply don't remember Alias — other than Jennifer Garner's shoulders and legs — and bright red undies — of course. 

Jennifer Garner, showing what makes for an amazing spy. 

For instance, I knew Lost was a J.J. Abrams vehicle — I didn't realize Alias was also. And in Season 1 I am already weary of Jennifer Garner's "Sad" face. 

But I like the inversion of The Man From U.N.C.L.E. so I will keep watching. Also, I'm a sucker for Lena Olin — and Ms. Garner's shoulders.  

One thing I learned from GET SMART (the television series)

 On keeping a clear moral perspective: 

"We have to shoot and kill and destroy — we represent everything that's wholesome and good in the world!" Cadged from here. 

One thing I learned from GET SMART (the television series)

The importance of cluelessness. 

Matching wits with the Chief. 

Maxwell Smart reduces a pool room to splinters. The Chief throws his hands up in despair.

Chief: Alright this has gone far enough! Max, you told me you're a good pool player but you're a fake and a fraud —  you haven't the vaguest notion about pool!

Maxwell Smart: Just what are you getting at, Chlef? 

*****

Max [disguised in leotards]: I'm no dancer, Your Exellency! Look, I'll prove it to you: [Performs a clumsy pirouette] Maybe I am a dancer!

BATMAN: THE ANIMATED SERIES

I finished Batman: The Animated Series (or BTAS). The animation changed by Season 4, as it had to, to something more anime. But I missed the Tom and Jerry stylings. Also, I suspect the writers realized by then that their main character was an incredible asshole, Justified was the only TV show allowed to reach this natural conclusion, however. 

"Wait: Raylan Givens?"

I got the BTAS DVDs for a song and promptly ripped them. My lovely assistant drag-and-dropped those video files onto a thumb drive, and here we are today!

I recommend BTAS, especially seasons 1 and 2, and The Mask of the Phantasm. It's up to you, really. 

One thing I learned from Codco

 Best said with an accent: "And with the print of the pail still fresh on his arse!"

Codco, in a more staid moment. 

One thing my former roommate taught me:

"Don't rush it."

Rodin took his time!

He was specifically talking about taking a dump, but he could have said this about anything. Exceptions allowed for, of course, but if a person rushes it the innards get hurt for an end product that is lamentable. 

“Not that old trick!”

I spent the better part of yesterday and today changing the buttons on the right-hand side of this blog And because I believe in "Nuthin' up my sleeve!" computer programming I used GIMP to resize and export the covers of my books and CDs to a width of 100 pixels. Not sure why but 100 pixels seems to be the magic amount.

Vintage Whisky 2022

I woke up in 2022 — in a hospital in a city not my own — and I was still married!

Also, I started using "Whisky Prajer" as long-form and short-form social media. Before, I cared — if I didn't find it, usually on the Internet, I posted it on WP. Now I don't — I haven't exactly stopped caring, but I no longer care as much. 

And these days I stream everything. 

Movies: 

• Roger Ebert woke up in the hospital once, then gave everything a positive review and asked "Is it me?"If Roger was anything like me it was actually fun to identify something he hated. And wow did I hate Don't Look Up. 
• I also didn't like The Discovery. 

Music: 

• The Sadies, Meshuggah, T Bone Burnett reviewed. 
• I really liked Keith Richards: Under The Influence. And because I wish I'd written it here is Gerald Howard's Performance Anxiety: More than 40 years after its initial release Donald Cammel's lurid film continues to haunt. 
  

Mennonites: 

• Michial Farmer recommends Julia Kasdorf (I recommend them both). 

Miscellaneous: 

• did I mention streaming? Well stream I did in a big way. I like Lost In Space and I like Star Trek: Enterprise. 
• The Hamilton Fire. 
• May 14, 2022 — The last iPod rolls off the line. The end of an era? 
• The ascension of Disney+ brings about a realization. 
• Guitar! Also: Salman Rushdie stabbed. 
• "Prairie Mary" Strachan Scriver — 1939-2022. 
• One thing I learned: from my mother, Leonard Cohen, The Eagles, my aunt, publishing YOUTHFUL DESIRES, Steely Dan. 
• Marvel Entertainment Company: "I'm just a beer salesman."
• SEX!
  
• 2022 was the year I watched Star Wars: Rebels — more than once!
• My current roommate. 
  
• Remembering Christmas 1975.
  

The Drive

It took one hour to drive from The 'Bach to the Big City. Most of that was four-lane Trans Canada driving.

I'll never forget passing the local Police Chief. "We're still going the limit," said my father but I wasn't so sure. I thought the Chief might pull out his revolver and shoot us. 

The 'Bach didn't yet have a pool, so our mother drove us for swimming lessons. I remember there was a guy with long, curly hair. He was in charge and had dark green bikini briefs. He also had an enormous schlong. The young women had to wear a one-piece. 

"I really racked-up the miles that summer." The day would come when we would kill for one hour of highway driving but it was not upon us yet. 

Neither were seat belts. I remember one winter evening when the church youth group took a brown van to Saints' Roller Rink. We kids held down the back and played Spin-the-Bottle. We had parkas on and hoods so nobody could tell we were touching noses and not lips. 

The Christian Service Brigade took cars to the city arena to see a hockey game. In the back seat we were stacked like cord-wood, but it was important that the driver had his arms clear. 

"I want to go to the city with you. You have a powerful car and people don't know it."

"Yeah, but I correct too quickly."

We pyekked up Reimer Ave. 

"See?"

"Let me have the steering wheel."

I remember going to Dutch Maid for ice cream and rescuing some parishioners whose car had conked. This time it was a mere six in the back seat. I don't recall who was in the front seat but it was quite crowded. 

"Put pepper in the radiator. The pepper finds the leak and expands."

"Whatever you say, Dad."

It was a different time. It was the '70s. 

And we looked like this -- all the time.

Norm Macdonald

Norm Macdonald's September 14, 2021 death was a HUGE deal in the hospital and seemed quite sudden. I didn't find out about the leukemia until I read the Wiki. 

Fortunately for Netflix subscribers there are episodes of Norm Macdonald Has A Show

It looks something like this. 

Macdonald botches the Wayne and Shuster close (the one thing, besides Ed Broadbent's speeches, that persuaded me I could speak French) six ways until Sunday. Billy Joe Shaver was a friend and guest. 

In fact, it was my reminiscence of "Georgia On A Fast Train" that got me thinking of Norm Macdonald. This is a YouTube video of Billy Joe Shaver on Norm Macdonald Has A Show. It ends with a phone call to Robert Duval. I miss Norm Macdonald. Except for Frank and Gordon. I still want to skin those rodents. 

The miner

Back in ringette days before I was a coach I knew a fellow in the stands who moved to Flinflon, Manitoba. "I have a friend who worked there," I told him. "He says Flinflon is beautiful."

It was. But the guy in the stands was slowly going crazy. He was a miner in Flinflon but had to leave a young family to do it. He moved his father in to help with the house, but his woman didn't marry an old man from the Maritimes and he knew it. 

The house in this province was finally sold and the entire family moved out to Flinflon. As far as I know my daughter is still Facebook friends with her former ringette teammate. But my stands-buddy moved to Flinflon long before Zoom was so much as an idea. 

I never envied him, even after they bought a cottage beside a lake. 

"My family's here somewhere -- gotta keep digging!"

Billy Joe Shaver, “Georgia On A Fast Train”

 One of the happy days was learning the words to this song and singing along with BR5-49. 

Here are the lyrics as I hear 'em — corrections gleefully accepted : 

"Georgia On A Fast Train" by Billy Joe Shaver

On a rainy, windy mornin'

That's the day that I was born in 

That ol' share-cropper's

One-room country shack. 

They say my mammy left me

The same day that she had me

Said she hit the road 

And never once looked back 

And now I just thought I'd mention 

My grandma's old-age pension

Is the reason why I'm standing here today 

I got all my country learnin'

A-milkin' and a-churnin'

Picking cotton, raising hell and bailing hay

Chorus:  

Yeah, I've been to Georgia on a fast train, honey

I wasn't born on yesterday 

Got a good, Christian raisin'

And an 8th grade education 

Ain't no reason you all treatin' me this way

Now old sweet Carolina 

I don't guess I'll ever find a 

'Nother woman put together 

Like you are 

With that wiggle in your walkin'

And your Big City talkin'

And your brand-new shiny Plymouth ragtop car

So it's hurry up and wait 

In this world of give and take 

It seems like haste that makes the waste everytime

And I pray unto my soul 

When you hear the acres roll

You better know 

I'm gonna get my share of mine

Chorus: 

Yeah, I been to Georgia on a fast train, honey 

I wasn't born no yesterday 

Got a good, Christian raisin'

And an 8th grade education 

There ain't no reason you all treatin'

Me this way

No suh!

"Rock 'n' Roll had nothing on these guys": Billy Joe Shaver 

"'My mammy left me the same day that she had me'? Not true," says my mother from beyond her grave. Now here's Bon Scott from AC\DC singing "Problem Child."